Government/Homeland Security,
They monitor our every move, read our mail and yet - still, don't have a clue what we've said!
PRESIDENTS VIEW:: Media:
Mr. President, whats your take on the Oil Crisis right here in the United States
Mr. President,
Well,? I'm not thinking I have it so bad. I have put the word out that we are no longer to discuss this event within the media as we just want to cover it up and pretend their nightmare never occurred. The media has agreed with us here at the White House and thus far has held their end of our bargain and these orders will remain in affect indefinitely. Let me add to that, those that don't remain quite will be dealt with. There are those out there, and you know who you are, thinking that somehow its the governments responsibility to provide to them clean water for ever as well as relief?,
Mr. President:
What I stated earlier on in this conversation about not having it so bad, I was referring to the spectacular job we have done in keeping a lid on it, thus far. The majority of the people here in the United States have no clue of the true devastation presently occurring in our Gulf region.
Mr. Precedent Continue,
Now, take Japan for example, there just ain't know way in hell to cover that shit up. Do you see now why we have in forced a media black-out on our Crisis? Its the media who gets this information out. At this point the only thing Japans gonna be putting a lid on is them reactor we sold em in the 70s. But, please inform all the American people that they can be assured I have and will continue to maintain a good relationship with the governing bodies in Japan that remain. As well inform my friend's in the Gulf that its a good thing we didn't ship off to them any relief supplies that they could truly use. That would have truly put a damper on what we have available to give freely to other nations rather than to those here. I have personally committed to getting to them the balance of our own relief supplies as I have just pr oven to them that they, I mean we can do without. I give a shout out to the Good people of Japan as if only I could get just get those here at home to be so obedient.
President Continues:
As well, let all those in Japan know "we are there for you as we care for you". I have made a strong commitment to mobilize as quick as humanly possible what ever it is you need by providing to you the unnecessary relief supplies we have here in the United States. With this humanitarian effort put fourth by the citizens here in my country, Now, for the people here in the United States, with all the unbelievable events transpiring within our Nation today, I'm going on vacation. But before I do, you folks in the Gulf, I feel its my duty to inform you as your leader I have personally signed into agreement authorizing the go ahead of one more oil rig within the deepest waters bringing the total to date of three,but who's counting.
Media:
Precedent continues his message on the Gulf:
Some of you may be wondering how I came to terms on the rules for the continuation of drilling in the Gulf. First it was based on them providing to me a one page plan for containment of oils lost given another irritating National Crisis because as you are all awhere of this last one was very irritating to me and the Mrs. Then, I asked them to show me the monies! This will allow to me the option to open and close the beaches and fishing industry at will.
Media:
The President continues his message in the Gulf.
I am also exited to tell you what I had personally told to the EPA NOAA and them other agencies that "I", the President, sign their checks and it is bp and and others that provide the end of the year bonus. This is something imposed by the past parties in the House and should not, could not, and simply will not impose upon to them any unnecessary fines for allowing there extremely toxic fracking fluids to expel at will into our Gulf while in the major course of drilling some pipe. So to recap my statement ?No containment of any sort is required for the toxic drilling fluids within the Deep Waters as it will dilute just fine within the surrounding waters. Another thing that I have stressed to my staff is that in an effort to have these rigs operational sooner they are not to ask them to show us their personal employee safety manuals. Why not you might ask? Because these companies have already proven to me that without a doubt, it is a complete waste of tax payer dollars as there not followed nor in forced by these companies. So, the one thing you can be assured of is millions of gallons of fracking fluids will be a flowing freely and we have no authority to stop this nor require them to provide information on how much of the toxic waste is being used nor the brand name. Thank you.
Media:
Well, you just heard it from the President, he has released a total now of three permits to continue on with the final phase of total elimination of our Gulf and Eco-System. This concludes our live broadcast, but remember, you didn't hear it from us! | 